pocketful of shells

"Did you tell Mr. G- ?"

"Did you here about your student?"

No, what?

"R- got shot this weekend."

"Mmmhhmmmm, sure did."

"They shot him in both legs, so hardheaded. I told him not to be messing around, but he's so hard-headed, you know."

"I wonder what he did get into. He's such a playful guy."

Is he alright?

"Said he'll be back in about six weeks, so you gotta send some work for him. I told him just Friday that he's going to get himself into some trouble being so hard-headed (that was just last week you told him), and look where he's got himself now."

I admit, I was glad, positively glad when I saw his name on the absent list second block. It meant that the good day that had begun in first block might last until the end of the day. Without both R- and K- I could probably get something taught. But know, I don't know what to think. Poor kid. He is certainly one of my worst behaved kids, always talking out, joking, completely innappropriate, singing and rapping in class. He never does any work, except for making tables of values from equations, he loves that.

Most days, he gets into arguments, usually joking, with someone across the room from him. Did you here what she called me Mr. G? he'll ask. One day I took him out into the hall and told him, whatever someone says to you, just let it run off you like water off a turtle's back. I'm not sure how successful this was. The next day, every five minutes, it was - Mr. G., you hear/see that? I'd give him a teacher look, and R-, all six feet four inches of him, would sit down, oh yeah, that's ok, like water off a turtle's back. He must have said the phrase 30 times that day. He still reacted to everything anyone might have said, but his reaction now included uttering his newfound mantra.

I guess I won't now make him serve the detentions that I had assigned him. I'm not sure how to keep him current on his work, if that is even possible. On the way home from school today, I was thinking of how different the world my kids are growing up in is from the world that I grew up in. I have never seen a gun fired in anger, never heard a shot and known it was aimed at a human body, certainly I have never felt bullets whizz past me, knowing that with a little less luck I might have been dead.

Every one of my kids knows someone who is shot. I would venture to guess that 90% have heard shots fired in anger, and probably about 70% have seen that sort of thing go down. I wouldn't guess how many have actually been shot at - or been on the other side, pulling the trigger - but I'm sure it is not an inconsequential proportion. These are things I just never thought about, never even considered possibilities growing up but my kids live with these fears every day. When I told my fourth block class that R - had been shot, some had known, some hadn't, but none seemed really surprised or worried. My cousin got shot this weekend too - one exclaimed.