Getting started on a long night of grading. No, trying to get started on a long night of grading. Failing. I'm failing, at getting my grades in. At staying organized. My kids are failing to learn any math, or to perform on assessments. They will soon be failing the state test.
But tonight, as I was sitting down to try to get something done for the hundredth time, my phone rang. "You know who this is?" "BC" "Yeah, how you doin' Mr. G." "Great. I've got your number in my phone." yeah, I know, I know. You know what time the valentines dance starts tonight?..."
Something about the fact that BC would call me to ask about the valentine's day dance, which I knew nothing about, really made me feel like I was making a difference, making a connections somehow. After he asked about the dance, and I made fun of him for not having any game, he reminded me that he would be coming after school tomorrow for help. It's crazy, but it will take so much effort on my part for Barry to pass, but I want so badly for him to do well. I just can't do it for everyone in there.
I also need to become more productive and stop fearing both grading and lesson planning. I mentally block them out, even if I don't allow myself to do anything else, I often won't begin planning/grading until close to 9 PM, which is terrible and impossible, and a complete waste of my time. If I am only going to spend a few hours doing it, I might as well put in those hours when I get home so I can sleep reasonably well, rather than waste a bunch of time before starting and then not sleep. Oh wait, I'm blogging right now. Good start, that.
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