Acting

Meet FJ. He was in this same room last year, same class, he often tells me, same block. He sits in the front row, talks too much, and has a tendency to curse and think I won't hear him. Lately, he has been one of my after school crew. He wants to be a chef, and his favorite food is spagetti with Velveta melted on top of it in the microwave.

This morning, I saw FJ in the hall with a bloody lip. "What happened F?" "Some boys jumped on me at the bus stop." "You alright?" "Yea, I'll get them later." "No, F, you won't."

FJ has a history with the bus. He's already been suspended from the bus once, I assume for disagreements with the same guys. FJ does not want to fight anyone, but he wants to save face and he wants the harrassment to cease. So he tells me he's going to get those guys. "F, you can't get suspended now, just when you're getting on a roll in my class." "Oh, I ain't fittn to get suspended, we gon' do it in the hood." "No, F, you're not going to do it at all. You're smarter than that." "But Mr. ---------...." "F, come see me after school and we'll talk about why you won't do this."

After school, F shuffles into my room as I am finishing up with a few students. I had momentarily forgotten why he was here, and he sensed my confusion. "You wanted to talk to me." "Yeah F, sit down. You're bus isn't the first one or anything?" "No." I finish dealing with the other students and sit down across from F, searching for something to say to keep him from fighting, when I know, had I been in his shoes, I would have wanted to fight as well. But he saves me the trouble and starts the conversation.

I been thinkin about what you said. And the reason we came down here from Memphis was so I wouldn't be gettin in no more of this trouble. I don't want to have to go and tell my mom I been fighting. It just about might braek her heart.

Pause.

So, I got something that'll work for me and work for you. The only way I can do this is if when my bus comes they see you pulling me away from the bus. I can't just not get on the bus, but if you're pulling me away, just by the arm, then there's nothin I can do.

Pause.

I ride bus 127.

Ok F, so when you go over to get on the bus, I'll come after you and grab you and keep you from getting on the bus?

Right.

So, I went along with F's plan. I waited among a crowd of students for what seemed like ages, watching the bus numbers, and watching F watch me from across the lawn. I didn't need to worry about missing the bus though, because as soon as I saw it, G, who draws cartoons of me and is a very likeable, if dorky, guy, came up to me and said "F says the bus is here." I got a little closer, waited for the bus to pull up, and as the first kids started boarding I called out "F. F!" He looked up at me and headed toward the bus. G was jogging along beside me, telling me something I couldn't understand. I grabbed F by the arm. "Come on F. Let's go." He tries to pull away, and his eyes shine with anger. Had he sent G to tell me that he'd changed his minded and wanted to get on the bus after all? "Let me go man!" "No, F, come on. Let's go." Scattered shouts of "That man gotta get on the bus" and "How you gonna keep that man from gettin on his bus" echo around me.

We turn the corner back towards the school and, out of sight, I let go of F's arm. Another kid comes up behind us. "Hey, go back out there with the buses." He ignores me and starts talking to F. "That's aight, we'll get 'em tomorrow." "No" I say, "you won't get them tomorrow. It's over." The kid looks at me, then at F. "Cuz," says F, in that peculiar rythem that he has "i'll explain it all to you when we get home." and as a side note, to me, "This my cousin."

"Call your mom, F" I say as I pass him my phone. He puts in his number, and his mom's name shows up. He stopped being surprised about that a long time ago. "You ever consider acting?" "No, I never did think about that."

After F gets off the phone, as we continue to walk down the breezeway, F says "you know, I think I really could use a father figure in my life." I just shake my head "I'm way to young for that F." "oh, yeah, I didn't mean you, I just mean I think it would be good for me to have, you know, a guy at home to look up to and all that."

F, at 15, has diagnosed half of his own problem, and the probably the single biggest problem in the Delta. But at least today, he didn't fight.